Temple Fairs: A Beijing Spring Festival Survival Guide

It’s almost Lunar New Year, and many of you are clearing out for warmer and, dare we say it, more salubrious latitudes. It's a fine thing to appreciate the clean air and warm breezes as you blow bong hits from the back of a tuk-tuk racing through the backstreets of Phuket. Those staying in Beijing, however, can look forward to the annual bacchanal of alcohol, explosives, and execrable TV galas. I'm not throwing shade. I'm into any holiday which brings together high proof alcohol and gunpowder. My rule for buying fireworks is if you can’t liberate Taiwan with the amount of firepower you’ve purchased, go back for another round.